i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
