today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
