Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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