I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize