If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
