HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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