She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
