I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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