So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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