I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
