what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize