Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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