I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
