The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
