everyone is single if you try hard enough
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ok first of all what the fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
