Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
