just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came so hard my ears popped.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize