oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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