Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
