who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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