So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
