dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
