remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
as a side note pls kill me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
