My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
