So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
