dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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