Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
