What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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