Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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