when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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