you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize