Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
