quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
