Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize