I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's shark week go big or go home
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
