he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
