somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize