The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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