The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My cat gives me a boner
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You dont lie about slip and slides
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
