You're my little dorito
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
