Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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