had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
