Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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