how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize