And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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