i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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