She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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