And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
