If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
