More tranny stories later!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
