In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
