you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
