What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize