I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
