drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
