brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
