Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
smell my finger.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
