that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
