id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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