Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
