Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize