I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
