Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
