Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
