its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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