I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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