I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
