If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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