3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My feet surprised me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
