Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize