you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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