His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
