Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
